Honor, Not Flattery
Continued from: John 4:43-46
“A man who flatters his neighbor spreads a net for his feet.”
Proverbs 29:5
“Everyone utters lies to his neighbor, with flattering lips and a double heart they speak. May the Lord cut off all flattering lips, the tongue that makes great boasts.”
Psalm 12:2-3
The Galileans offered a warm welcome, but Jesus called it what it was, not honor, but something shallow. Scripture names that shallowness with a hard word, flattery. Flattery sounds kind, but it is self-serving. It tells people what they want to hear in order to get what we want to receive. Honor is different. Honor speaks truth with love, celebrates righteousness, calls people to God, and costs us something.
Flattery is easy. You can say only the pleasant and never the hard, you can praise without knowing, you can affirm without caring. Honor is costly. It requires discernment, courage, patience, and consistency. It means you will sometimes say what is difficult because you love the person more than their opinion of you.
Many of us confuse the two. We think we are honoring leaders, spouses, friends, or pastors, but we are only flattering them. We are keeping peace rather than making peace. We are using sugar to avoid surgery. Others of us think we are being honored, when we are only being managed. The test is simple. Do the people you surround yourself with tell you only what is pleasant, or do they also tell you what is true.
Ask the Lord to make you a person of honor. Let your words be trustworthy. Let your encouragement be real. Let your correction be gentle and brave. And if you have chased flattery, or lived for it, turn back. The net beneath flattery always tightens. Honor sets people free.
“A man who flatters his neighbor spreads a net for his feet.”
Proverbs 29:5
“Everyone utters lies to his neighbor, with flattering lips and a double heart they speak. May the Lord cut off all flattering lips, the tongue that makes great boasts.”
Psalm 12:2-3
The Galileans offered a warm welcome, but Jesus called it what it was, not honor, but something shallow. Scripture names that shallowness with a hard word, flattery. Flattery sounds kind, but it is self-serving. It tells people what they want to hear in order to get what we want to receive. Honor is different. Honor speaks truth with love, celebrates righteousness, calls people to God, and costs us something.
Flattery is easy. You can say only the pleasant and never the hard, you can praise without knowing, you can affirm without caring. Honor is costly. It requires discernment, courage, patience, and consistency. It means you will sometimes say what is difficult because you love the person more than their opinion of you.
Many of us confuse the two. We think we are honoring leaders, spouses, friends, or pastors, but we are only flattering them. We are keeping peace rather than making peace. We are using sugar to avoid surgery. Others of us think we are being honored, when we are only being managed. The test is simple. Do the people you surround yourself with tell you only what is pleasant, or do they also tell you what is true.
Ask the Lord to make you a person of honor. Let your words be trustworthy. Let your encouragement be real. Let your correction be gentle and brave. And if you have chased flattery, or lived for it, turn back. The net beneath flattery always tightens. Honor sets people free.
Posted in The Word Made Flesh
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